"To live free, one must let go of the emotional attachments that they are craving!"
When you shed light on the truth, people get upset due to their own insecurities. What if I were to tell you, that you, the reader have behavior problems. "Children have behavior problems, not adults”, you might say or “how dare you belittle me”!
I personally believe that most adults have some form of behavioral problem. I say this because society has made it the norm to act and react a certain way to suggestion. Take for instance the reaction that occurs when you are hungry. After a long day without food, if the first thing you smell is a hamburger, the thought "hamburger" is locked in your mind, the taste of the meat, the soft bun, the garnish. Your senses lock onto that thought and the emotional satisfaction of the craving, instead of a healthy alternative.
As a human our primal instincts tell us that we need food, water, shelter, sleep, and companionship, these are all ‘needs’. All things, outside of what we need to survive are called "wants". Understand this, everything else that is not a ‘need’, is simply a ‘want’ that is fueled by our craving. So, where do these feelings of ‘want,’ originate from? The feelings of ‘want,’ our cravings, stems from a programed perspective based on the things we ‘consume’ and are greatly affected by ‘trauma’.
Let's say that a person was abused verbally, physically or molested as a child. These ‘traumatic events’, trap a part of the mind in a pre-mature state, preventing our mind from maturing properly and limiting our natural ability to understand true self-awareness. Traumas such as these are responsible for many destructive and addictive behaviors like rebellion, over eating, lying, drug addiction, alcohol abuse and many more. These behaviors pretty much cover the seven deadly sins. Even if you have a somewhat perfect life, unless your parents where extremely self-aware, then it’s unlikely you were taught how to deal with these traumas at a subconscious level.
If a child witnesses a person being bitten by a dog, even though it did not happen to them, they perceive the trauma as their own. As they mature they develop a fear of and in some cases a hate for dogs. Their initial experience becomes the foundation of the thought process simply because the original problem was never addressed. Even events as small as watching something graphic, or with violence on T.V. can cause trauma. The childlike mind does not know how to interpret the information, it is still stored deep within the neurological system, suppressing the memory until the feeling is lost and forgotten. This creates a disconnect between the conscious and the subconscious mind.
When trauma is introduced without explanation, our subconscious starts to develop a shell, much in the same way that the human body develops scar’s and callus, to protect us from being hurt. We know that the conscious has five senses, sight, smell, touch, taste and sound. What many people don’t know are that emotions are the subconscious senses. We can access our conscious senses because we practice them daily, the subconscious senses are not so easily reached. Communicating with the subconscious is like communicating with a child, you must be persistent.
One’s perception of life, starts being programed at an early age, and can be made and reshaped up until around the age of 13. The perception is programed by the five senses, so controlling what a child experiences is very important during this time. If this programing was done right, after the age of thirteen a child will begin to think in ways for their self. If proper understanding and discipline were established, the child will grow to be a strong adult, with little guidance needed. They will start to ask questions for themselves and make decisions based on their moral and ethical values. If they are not taught properly the child will suffer from many failures and learn everything the hard way. By the way, I was one of these children.
The lack of discipline and understanding in its self, generates all kinds of behavior problems. The subconscious in my opinion learns at a much slower rate, about ten years or so behind from our conscious learning. This is because it speaks a different language. Although, the subconscious learns from its senses as well, its senses are not fully developed until a direction for their perception has been decided. This changes many times throughout life and is also known as ascending in the spiritual world. By controlling what we consume we can ultimately gain better control of the subconscious. It is common knowledge, we are what we eat, as we are what we consume!
This is where some people will drop off, because of their rebellious trait. I ask that if you are not subjective and open minded to skip this last section. Please know that being subjective is the only way to embrace true change. You don’t have to believe everything you see or hear, but you must at least entertain the thought.
Now, that the disclaimer is out of the way I will let the bombs fall!
All negative emotions stem from behavior problems, that’s right, I said ‘all’. This does not mean that a person is being childish, but that they lack the subconscious understanding, that what they are feeling is a choice and they choose to embrace it.
The reason I came to this conclusion? I suffered from depression and severe PTSD.
If you think your situation was tough know this, I was stabbed twice, blown up and almost kidnapped by the age of 12 and that’s just a few highlights of my early years. I have seen so much F’ed up stuff in my life that it would make your head spin. So, when I say I was broken, trust me, I was over the edge.
Through research, I found understanding and with understanding, I stopped making excuses. With much practice I started to uncover these hidden traumas and one by one I re-programed my mind with the way I perceived each experience. The more I uncovered, the more I learned that it was a lack of self-discipline that was causing many of my issues. Without self-discipline comes a lack of understanding. A lack of understanding in any situation can be stressful.
This technique I am about to share with you has helped me re-train my mind.
Now, imagine a couple of recent positive thoughts that almost make you smile. Once you have these locked in, think about any situation that leaves you with a feeling sad or depressed, where you can almost feel the depression sinking in.
Once locked in ask yourself,
· Why do I allow these feelings to overcome my thoughts of happiness.?
· Who’s in charge of my life?
· Who’s in charge of my thoughts?
Then Tell yourself;
· I am in charge!
· I am great!
· I can achieve anything I set my mind to!
· I am in control of my own emotions!
Practice this habitually a couple times a day, for at least 21 days. Please know that the memory cycle for re-programing the brain takes about three weeks. This means if there is a habit you want to incorporate in your life it takes about 21 days to program as a new habit. Each time asking yourself the same questions and telling yourself the same statements. I recommend doing this while looking in the mirror and speaking the words aloud. Some people may have never experienced this, but I highly recommend it.
Have you ever stared into your own eyes in a mirror and told yourself what to do in a Stern Direct voice? It's kind of creepy in a way, it seems as if someone else is telling you what to do. This time, swap between the thoughts of positive and the negative feelings, by doing this you are training your conscious mind to control the subconscious senses. This is just one of the four steps that I found vital to my mental health recovery. The other steps are referred to in the previous chapters of my book, “Understanding and Right View,” “Guided Meditation,” and “You are What you Consume’.
These techniques are not for everybody, I say this because some people are not ready or do not want to change. Some people are happy trapped with their addictions and their negative emotions, completely consumed by them. That is in itself a behavior problem.
Smart employers tend to notice these issues early on in an employee’s career. Terminating the individual quickly, after all ‘it’s not their place to parent someone’s grown child’.
Here is a quick test.
When you are out in public and a stranger asks you to move out of their way without saying please. If your first thought has a negative or frustrated intent, such as who does this person think they are, they’re not in charge of me? If so you may have a behavior problem. Don’t get me wrong, it is not okay for strangers to go around telling people what to do. What I am saying is, that your first thought and reaction, determines if you have a behavior problem.
The proper first thought and reaction is, to assess the situation. Maybe the person is having a bad day, or there is an emergency or maybe the individual is just ignorant. Regardless, it’s always good to be the bigger person and let it go, don’t let another person’s misery become your own.
Another sign can be if you regularly misinterpret another’s opinion, or criticism as a command. In this moment, an individual with behavior problems will immediately become defensive, generating negative thoughts. Sure, there is always more than one way to do things, a wise adult is aware of this and will always listen to someone else’s opinion.
Understanding that it is just an opinion, they will never generate an emotional response. The wise adult will first interpret the information, process it and decide if it is relevant to their beliefs, if not discard it and move on. My own definition of a true adult is, someone who can process information at a consistent rate, and still make rational decisions without projecting judgment.